All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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