she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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