He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
