Too much gin, very little bucket
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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