this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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