I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize