I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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