nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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