He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
only you would photoshop your dick
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
