sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
