I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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