hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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