...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
