i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
