its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
