Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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