You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
