Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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