worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
