i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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