dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize