I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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