White coat. Heels.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
