hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
