i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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