if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
