Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
