Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
