Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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