are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
A+ Viking dick
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize