O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she looked like the before picture.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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