You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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