Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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