It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
