yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
