She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
