Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
