i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
