I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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