I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Someone shit on the floor
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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