Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
