the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
