So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
