i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
