I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
