hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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