i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
