Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
