So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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