Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This is the high leading the old right now
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
