when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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