I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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