You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Someone signed my nipple.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
