mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
