I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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