Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
