I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
