Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize