hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
