Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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