I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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