So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
