I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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