my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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