I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
