don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
