I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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